Advice Column #1

A Confused Capricorn & A Cancer Looking for Love

We love answering your astrology & love questions. Our advice column is back & we hope you’ll be psyched to see it pop up once in a while. Make sure to subscribe monthly as we’ll be making Advice, the Friday love matches, & other content for paid subscribers only in the next few weeks.

Alright, now let’s get to you.

A Confused Capricorn

Dear Astro Poets,

I fell for an Aries after our one and only 6-hour first date. From the moment we began chatting, it felt intense. Normally, I pre-screen app matches for at least a week before deciding to go on a date, but he had me agreeing to meet him on the same day and with a skip in my usually pessimistic step. We connected on every level—goals, interests, introspection, our lifestyle aspirations and our current habits. There was banter! There were projections about the future! And yes, there was sex. I felt like I was on the cusp of entering a relationship with serious potential. It was the first time I've been on a date where I felt like I was being unabashedly myself and the other person was leaning in. Was this IT?! And then he abruptly brought up that he was not over his ex. Apparently, it took five hours with me for him to realize this. 

Months later, I checked in to see if things may have changed and copped to thinking about our connection. After lobbing a few flirty texts my way, he admitted that he's back with his ex, but unsure if it will work out. Was he ever actually into me or is he another ass? Do I hold out hope?

A Confused Capricorn

Dear Confused Capricorn,

First of all, I love you. I know it’s not easy for a Capricorn to be this spontaneous & vulnerable—a 6 hour date! On the same day you started talking! Sounds like an Aries to me. I once went on a 72 hour date with a triple Aries. He didn’t let me leave his apartment. It was so hot. It was basically like, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, do you even remember your old life? I didn’t! I was so into him. And then he never called me back. And then months later I got a text from him apologizing and telling me he got a fellowship in Italy but did I want to hang out. Ok good for him. But I was like baby, I’m over here swimming through time. That’s hard enough for me as it is. (I have a Pisces moon).

Aries men are wildly unpredictable. That’s what makes them hot. That’s also what makes them difficult. What you should never question is if they were into you. An Aries rarely does something they don’t want to. Especially when it comes to sex, love, dates, etc. That’s the good news. The bad news is, it may not mean as much to them as we think it does. I love Aries so much. They are one of my favorite signs. As a Sagittarius, I absolutely vibe with them. But they say a lot of things I wonder if they actually mean. A lot of grandiose pronouncements, a lot of early I love yous. That’s fun and all, but I want the real. I’d rather not be lied to or have someone be over the top, even if they don’t think they’re lying.

The ex thing is a problem. Let me tell you something about Aries people. They never get over their exes and if they could they would throw a party and invite all of them, flirt with them, sleep with them, and get in all sorts of trouble. Aries are fun. They’re just wired that way. If that doesn’t sound like fun to you though, be glad you dodged this bullet. Aries are also always on the lookout. Even when they are seriously with someone romantically. They’re always like, well, is there a better option? A better apartment, a better jacket, a better partner. It can make you go a little nuts if you are someone who longs for stability like a Capricorn does. And you could say stability is something we all want but when a Capricorn wants that, it’s different. It’s spring, summer, winter and fall. Not just “whenever I feel like it,” which is sort of the Aries motto. If you had to date a fire sign I would suggest Leos. They are a fixed fire sign. They get Capricorns. A Sagittarius, like an Aries, would also drive you crazy. You just never know when the winds will change.

Anyway, I’m wishing you luck and I know you won’t even need it. Anyone is lucky to get a Capricorn. They’re that someone you can depend on.

Your fire sign fan,

Britney Spears, Sagittarius (2002)

A Cancer Looking for Love

Hi Astro Poets!

You’re one of my favorite accounts to follow on Twitter. Here’s my problem:

I’m happily single and have been for some time. I enjoy my solitude and frequently need periods of alone time to fill up my tank, so to speak.

But I’m also desperately craving romance and love and intimacy. Most of my friends are in serious relationships and I’m not. The few single friends I used to be able to commiserate with are now shackled up. It can be lonely at times. But also... I love my alone time. It’s a bit of a complex conundrum that I wish I had more clarity on.

Any recommendations on how to, I dunno... be okay with the way things are instead of letting shame/resentment lead the charge?

A Cancer Looking for Love

Dear Cancer Looking for Love,

Wow. I love your question. Did I write it myself? Lately I have been so disappointed in friends who disappear because they’re in serious relationships, only to reappear when they’re on the verge of breaking up or have broken up. It really is a couples culture we live in. And somehow, singles are constantly made to feel like they’re missing something.

First, let me tell you something no one wants to admit. It’s more fun being single. It’s also more interesting. It also gets better as you get older because you’ve figured out what you like and what you don’t and know exactly how to spend the free time you do have. Being single is also what 77.77% of people in relationships think about all the time. Trust me, I know. I get to listen to all of them tell me that in some roundabout way after half a drink on a Tuesday night because that’s the only night they could “get away” from their partner. So sad for them! Not.

Please enjoy your freedom. Please also interrupt that freedom with some fast & loose fun. A date. A hookup. A trip and a date and a hookup. Can Cancers do that without getting attached? That’s the thing. Probably not. But what if you’re rotating like 2 or 3 or 4 dates/guys/whatever. And one is taking your mind off another, until that one—really that one—finally comes along and occupies your mind fully. I don’t know! Maybe the one doesn’t even exist. I think it’s worth trying though. I think what’s also worth trying is doing something for yourself anytime you start to feel bad about being alone, which everyone loves to make us feel bad about. Buy yourself a jacket. Book a hotel room. Go to Miami. Start kickboxing. Whatever it is. Add something to your life that gives you pleasure. Keep adding more and more and keep yourself happy because not to be corny but, light does attract light. I have met my best boyfriends when I’ve been happy in my life. Not looking and unhappy. And you sound like a total catch. I love Cancers. Take yourself out on the town or better yet, park yourself in front of a beach. You may never have these moments of freedom the same way again. No one knows! Look at this last year. It’s been wild.

Your freedom loving Sagittarius,