This May is a weird transition month. Even more so than usual. You may have ended something big or you may be thinking of starting something new. Whatever the case, it’s good to pause and have a drink. Or some CBD. Or whatever it is that gets you to hype down. Prepare yourselves because Mercury is going retrograde on May 29th at 6:34pm EST. There’s also the new moon in Taurus on the 11th and the full moon in Sagittarius on the 26th. Generally it’s good to take a deep breath around this new moon and fill your body with as much air and rest as possible. The Sagittarius energy toward the end of the month will launch us into Gemini season. And we all know those two energies are explosive, fun, and very action oriented. All in all, it’s a good month to sort of do some thinking and looking around. Don’t act out of restlessness.
You may be taking on too many things and not giving your full focus to any one of them. Slow down. Look up and away often. Try to make room for a more creative thinking. You’re rushing through the days. The days are rushing through you. It will not be like before. Everything has changed now. This makes it more difficult but it also makes it more true. You should show up as the peacock you really are. Stop showing up as any other, ordinary bird.
A true stability is coming your way. In fact, it has already found you, though you’re too skeptical, as usual, to feel it. Get out of the car. Don’t stay in it. Start walking. The ground itself will lead you there and everyone you know. There are days you wake up and see everything in red. Less passion, more anger. There are days to come that look almost teal. There is a happiness to sadness. There is a river in the wood.
The winds are behind you. They’re catching up to your true ideas. They’re finally learning how to be on the same road as you. It hasn’t always been easy. The way you dart around. The things you see. The things you try to feel. Forget them. Everything has already happened. Everything to come is more. If you have doubts, remember luck from another dream. It carried you through to this one. There will days with incredible speed. You will go on. You will be whoever you want.
The road to the interior is full of long, red trees. The road to the interior is full of long, red trees. The road to the interior is full of long, red trees. The road to the interior is full of long, red trees. The road to the interior is full of long, red trees. The road to the interior is full of long, red trees. The road to the interior is full of long, red trees. The road to the interior is full of long, red trees. The road to the interior is full of long, red trees.
You can’t fix everything in one month or even in one year. Keep telling yourself that. Not as a sad mantra, but as the truth. As the reason why you’ll keep going even past time. Past the endings. Past the disappointments you’ve already made peace with. Alright. Now take a seat and look at your hands. They’re able to hold the pond in summer. And the summer’s coming. And the pond is in the mind. And the mind is full of no regret that binds you.
Isn’t it so lonely in the heart of the house? Isn’t it so lonely in the house without music? Isn’t it so lonely if the music turns to darts? Isn’t it so lonely if the darts have you as target? Cut your dresses. Cut your teeth on your good shirt. Make your bed but don’t regret its lack of beauty. There is more than beauty that you’re after. Leave the house. Forget the music. There’s a new light in the darkness.
Oh the old obsessions. Oh the flowers in the snow. Just stop. The snow is gone. The flowers too look different. If you’re filling up the mind with more old news, the day is bored. The night is also tired. You can read the headlines but don’t pretend you know much more. You can see the shape of words but don’t guess at their meanings. Open every window and begin the asking. Yes, the asking. Yes, the lack of answers. Use the spoons. The knives are much too dull.
You are thinking of them but are they thinking of you. There is dirt on the sheets but the grass fits more true. Inside. Inside. You don’t have to be the same shape each and every morning. You can fold out into a leaf. You can leave the concrete and the steering. Everyone who loves you understands all this about you. You will never be strange to them. You will be eternally yourself.
So you cut the thing with scissors. And you cut the thing with ice. And you’re free now and do see it. And you want more than there is. Those who treat you like before will be so disappointed. There is nothing to take. You will not give the same way. Yes, they don’t know it and yes, they will learn. Don’t be afraid to disappoint them. You’re nobody’s light but your own.
Sleep more. Sleep more. Sleep more. You’re inside a blue orbit.
Begin. Begin. Begin. You are walking toward the room you made yourself.
After many weeks it’s here though not as you imagined.
Don’t be afraid of the waves.
They’re real. They’re here to help.
Maybe if you expressed just half of how you feel, the other half will follow. Maybe if the right shoe goes on first, you start it this time with the left one. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. No one came to tell you. You were too afraid to ask. So what. You’re still here and you know it. I want to tell you not to be afraid. I want to say, don’t write it all down, look them in the eyes. Just say it.
You’re back from a little trip, imagined like a dream. While you were back there we all missed you. Though you thought there were rumors and terrible news. No, no. That’s just another wind. That’s just the lightening you have always heard like clockwork. It’s safe to look for every balloon. It’s safe to tell yourself you’re looking for more than just that too.